I must be too annoying 4 u.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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