I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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