guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
