shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
