Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
FUCK WHALES
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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