So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
