Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
