white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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