Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
