Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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