hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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