so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
