Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
