I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
