fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
