...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
