I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
