im holly from the hills drunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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