i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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