nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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