If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
