would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
