there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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