I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize