I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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