turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
