i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
