I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize