i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
