I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
