is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize