The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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