who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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