so explain again why im purple
no
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
