Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
