That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
