Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
