I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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