So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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