no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well you can't waste a boner
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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