I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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