he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
please don't ironically join a cult
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