I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
