I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
