He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
