that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize