apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
