@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize