Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
