He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize