I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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