it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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