I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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