Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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