dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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