She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
be right there i have to get my cape
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize