Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
