Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize