Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so let's talk penis.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
is wine microwaveable?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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